


Things More Fun Than Trigonometry

by pirateygoodness



Series: trigonometry [2]
Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-02-19
Updated: 2008-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-15 19:01:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9251630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pirateygoodness/pseuds/pirateygoodness
Summary: Because Blair and Serena aretogether, and Serena's pretty sure (even if there are times when she isn'tpositive) that they can accomplish anything that way. And then Serena remembers that even if they can't figure it all out together, they have Dan. Well,shehas Dan. And Blair's got her, and sometimes they all have each other, and when Serena's between the two of them, everything feels safe and manageable and inspiring.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Archived from Livejournal

This time (the time Serena talked Blair down from leaving for France, from leaving _her_ ), like so many other big events in their lives, ends with Blair and Serena cuddled up next to each other in the back of a car.

Except, unlike all those other times, they're both sober. 

And exhausted, and Blair's sniffing into her shoulder, but somehow, it's kind of okay. Because they're _together_ , and Serena's pretty sure (even if there are times when she isn't _positive_ ) that they can accomplish anything that way. And then Serena remembers that even if they can't figure it all out together, they have Dan. Well, _she_ has Dan. And Blair's got her, and sometimes they all have each other, and when Serena's between the two of them, everything feels safe and manageable and inspiring.

Blair looks up at the driver's eyes in the rear view mirror, makes sure he's watching the road, and laces her fingers together with Serena's.

"Hey," Serena says, trying as hard as she can not to lean in and kiss Blair's cheeks where they're all shiny and wet from tears, settling for brushing them away with her thumb. 

"Hey." 

"What do you want to do now?"

Blair sits up, trying to use her free hand to clear up places where her mascara's run a little. "Can we - " her eyes flick down to the cell phone in Serena's lap, and Serena knows the 'we' includes Dan. "Can we just go to your place for a bit?"

"Sure," Serena says, pulling Blair back into her. "My mom's gone for the weekend anyway."

The _with Bart Bass_ is implied, and they both know it, but Blair squeezes her hand like she's grateful that Serena didn't say it out loud, and give her one more reminder of all the people not speaking to her right now.

Serena knows. 

 

+++

 

Dan's pretty sure that when Flaubert (who he sometimes pretends to be, when he'd really rather be writing his own stuff instead of doing schoolwork) sat down to write thoughtful essays on literature and art, he didn't have to deal with a cell phone buzzing in his lap. Of course, Flaubert didn't have an amazing girlfriend to keep him from getting syphilis, either. 

Dan's thinks that's a tradeoff he can live with.

Either way, his phone is buzzing, and now that Dan's become the kind of person who lives in a world where a single text message can completely destroy or create a reputation, he can't _not_ check. (Even if he is in the middle of writing, and there are days when he feels like there are things about the pre-hot girlfriend, pre-apocalyptic text message world he wishes he could get back.)

The text is, fortunately or unfortunately, not the kind that's going to bring down a coffee-on-the-steps-of-the-Met dynasty or anything. Instead, it's from the only other person who would bother to actually text him instead of just showing up at his house - the aforementioned gorgeous and amazing girlfriend. (Which definitely helps ease the irritation of getting interrupted, even if it is just a five-page paper on Tolstoy.)

      _Come to my place? We need you._

_ <3,  
     Serena_

And, five minutes later: 

      _Bring a toothbrush! :)_

Which, you know. On the one hand, he and his girlfriend finally said _I love you_ to each other, and clearly the first thing she did was ditch him to go pick up her best friend, which might make a lesser man suspicious and jealous and too angry to come over just because she _asked_. On the other, it's _Serena_. He trusts her. (And, weirdly, he sort of trusts Blair.) Plus, there's the whole thing where every time the three of them get together, they end up having sex. 

He's a little too proud to admit that the sex might be a deciding factor, but he won't say it's not. 

Anyway, regardless of whether Dan's being noble and devoted or a little bit skeevy, he folds his lit paper back into his notebook, and grabs his coat.

"Hey, Jenny. I'm going over to Serena's. Tell Dad I'll be late, okay?"

"I don't know," she says, and makes her best irritating little sister face. " _Promise_ you won't impregnate her?"

Dan rolls his eyes, and puts a hand to his heart. "I swear on the illustrious Humphrey name."

"Oooh, how distinguished."

"See you, Jenny."

He's out the door before he hears her say it back. 

And it's not - well, sometimes it is - 

Okay.

To be honest, Dan has no fucking idea what this is. It's just that he and Serena love each other (they _love_ each other, how amazing is that?) and Blair's - well, in a lot of ways, it's like she's a part of Serena. So loving Serena, by extension, means loving Blair. (He's not sure, but he _thinks_ that means that loving Serena means loving him, too, which feels pretty awesome.) And somehow the best way to deal with that seems to be _his_ , and the only thing Dan wants in the world is for his father (and Gossip Girl) to never find out, because he has no idea how he'd ever justify this as responsible behaviour for a Humphrey man. (Even though some of the things he's heard about his dad and Serena's mom in college make him pretty sure Humphrey men aren't actually all _that_ responsible - he's trying to repress as much of that as he can.)

Whatever. It's a weird, hard-to-explain threesome, but it's _their_ weird threesome, and even though he's not exactly sure how this will ever end well, it seems to be working out fine so far. 

At the very least, he thinks as he gives the cab driver the address, it'll give him something good to write about when he really blossoms into a tortured literary genius.

 

+++

 

 _Dan likes it best when Serena's on top. Not on top of_ him, _although that is pretty fantastic, especially when she shifts her hips against him and does this sort of_ flexing _thing that makes his brain completely short-circuit, no matter how many times they do it - which means, okay, maybe he does like it a lot when Serena's on top of him. In fact, Serena on top of things is just a good theme for sex, in general._

_But the point is, what he likes - what he _really _likes - is when Serena's on top of Blair.___

___And not just because of that shallow alpha-male thing where all he really wants from life is to see two girls making out on a regular basis. (Although there's definitely a caveman part of his brain that isn't exactly_ opposed _to that kind of activity.) No. Dan likes it when Serena's on top of Blair because he loves watching the way they are around each other.__ _

___Okay, that still sort of makes it sound like he's just in this to stare at the lesbians. But it's more than that. Maybe it's because he's a writer, maybe it's because he's so in love with Serena that he's almost starting to fall in love with Blair, whatever. But there's something about the two of them._ _ _

___When they're together - not_ together _together, not without him, because he's not the kind of creep who would try to watch them when they're doing that (although he knows that sometimes they are) - and Serena's got Blair's waist between her knees, it's just mesmerizing.__ _

___He's pretty sure it's the most beautiful thing, like, ever._ _ _

___Because Serena, as Dan may have mentioned, is on top. She's the one looking down at Blair, reaching to palm Blair's breasts while she rocks her hips down and forward in a way that both of them_ clearly _like.__ _

___But the thing is, she's not the one in control._ _ _

___Blair's the one shifting her hips every so often, changing the way Serena moves. Blair's the one whispering suggestions into the warmth of Serena's hair, when she leans down for a kiss (that Blair made her want to steal, arching her back just so and doing that half-grin, half-pout thing with her lips that even Dan can't resist). And Blair's the one, when Serena's face is flushed and she's starting to whimper with frustration, who slips one tiny, manicured hand in between them and does_ something _just right, letting Serena come.__ _

___And it's_ gorgeous, _so sexy Dan pretty much loses all higher brain function and tries not to come just_ looking_ , but that's not even the best part. The best part is that, despite the fact that they're clearly doing something that's so very_ them, _so very personal and not at all relevant to the fact that Dan happens to be Serena's boyfriend, they let him stay._

_It means everything._

 

+++

 

One of the things that never stops surprising Serena is the way that life seems so much _easier_ when Dan's around. 

It's not even that he does anything - well, he usually _does_ do something, but he doesn't need to. Like - well, like now, when Serena leaves Blair (who she can tell is just trying to look happy and comforted because she knows how hard Serena's working to make her feel better) sniffling on her bed to answer the door. And Dan's just _standing_ there, looking a little concerned but mostly adorable with his hands jammed into the pockets of his coat in a way that's totally going to stretch it out funny, smiling like he was going to stop by anyway.

It makes Serena feel like she wasn't lying when she said that she knew she and Blair could figure everything out together.

"Hey," Dan says, shifting from foot to foot in the doorway because, Serena realizes, she's staring at him like she's just had a stroke instead of inviting him in. "What's up?"

 _Oh._ Because Dan doesn't know. Of _course_ Dan doesn't know - well, he knows _most_ of it, the parts everyone knows, the stuff Blair _did_ \- but he doesn't know about _Blair_. About the fact that she tried to leave, about the look on her face when she _finally_ let Serena pull her into a hug and take her home. About the way Serena felt, like she was going to stop breathing, when she thought Blair had already gone. 

Serena opens her mouth, but she just can't - she pauses, mouth half-open, because she has no idea what to say, or how to begin, and her best friend almost _left the country_ today, and Dan's hugging her. Really hard, so hard his coat is scratching against her cheek but it smells like him, and she can feel how he's _there_ , skinny and solid and right next to her, and then she feels like she can breathe again.

"Thanks," she says, slipping her arm around his waist because she doesn't want him to stop being close to her, ever. "Just - thanks."

 

+++

 

_Serena's favorite thing in the whole world - more than shopping for purses, or chocolate cake, or that cute little face Dan makes when she catches him staring at her - is watching Blair suck Dan's cock._

_Unfortunately, it doesn't happen that often._

_Not because - it's not like they_ dislike _each other or anything, it's just - well, Serena's not stupid. (Despite what some people seem to think.) She knows that a lot of what Blair and Dan have in common is_ her _, and how much they both like her. (And how much she's in love with them, although some days she's not sure they really get that.) And that's - well, it's great. It's really,_ really _great, and every time they're together Serena just wants to throw her head back and laugh, because she's so_ so _lucky that her two favorite people in the city love her enough to let her have them both together._

_But it means that on the days when Serena wants to watch them do things to each other, it takes a little bit of finesse to get their attention pointed the right way._

_When she does, though, it's worth it._

_The days when Blair's in the mood to go down on Dan and he's in the mood to let her, are usually the days when Blair's feeling - well, if it was somebody else describing it they'd probably say Blair was feeling very Serena, but Serena sort of feels like using her own name as an emotion is kind of megalomaniacal, even for the Upper East Side. Anyway, they're the days when Blair's feeling playful, and reckless in that controlled Blair Waldorf way that means being wild within the boundaries of her comfort zone and behind closed doors._

_On those days, when they're all tangled together in someone's bed with shirts off and faces flushed, Serena can bite down on Blair's earlobe and wrap her hand around Dan's wrist, pulling him closer. Blair will giggle and turn to kiss Serena with her teeth bared. And then - only then, once her mouth has Serena arching towards her, squirming with the way she's wet for Blair - she'll pull away, smiling, and move so that she can kiss a path down Dan's chest._

_When Blair's hands move to Dan's zipper, Serena can never quite suppress the visible thrill of_ ohmygod **yes** _that runs through her, and - well, there's a_ reason _this is her favorite thing to do._

 _Maybe that reason is the sound Dan makes in the back of his throat when Blair finally stops teasing him and puts her mouth where he wants her to be. Maybe it's the way Blair looks Serena right in the eye as she licks Dan's cock, moving up to the tip and then taking him in. Maybe it's the way Serena gets to sit back, shimmy out of her jeans and just_ watch _, absently stroking Blair's hair or holding Dan's hand while she tries not to touch herself. (Even though she wants to. Like, a_ lot _.) Maybe it's the way Blair doesn't stop smiling at her the entire time._

 _Sometimes she can't quite_ not _touch herself, though. (Okay,_ most _times she can't stop herself, but in her defense, it's the sexiest thing she's ever seen.) Sometimes, as she bends one leg at the knee and shifts to make it easier to slide two fingers gently along her slit, she'll just say something before she can help herself._

_Like, "Slower."_

_And Dan will groan, half-listening and half-responding to whatever Serena can't see Blair doing with her tongue, and murmur, "Don't you dare."_

_But Blair always will, for Serena._

_Anyway, Serena's pretty sure that Dan doesn't really mind, not_ that _much. Because even when Blair takes it slow -_ especially _when she takes it slow, she's_ good _with her tongue. (Serena should know.) And on the days when Blair's in the mood to go down on him, she's at her best - slipping down around his cock with her whole mouth, slow and careful, and tracing shapes as she moves up that make Dan's eyes slip shut while he moves to squeeze Serena's hand,_ hard _._

 _Serena doesn't think Dan_ really _minds because he always finishes with a gasp, hips flexing in a way that lets Serena see muscles shifting under his skin (and it's beautiful, it really is), as he tries not to thrust up into Blair's mouth._

 _And then, there's time for that weird, not-quite-post-coital pause, when he's done and Serena's not and Blair's excused herself for a moment to the bathroom, and that's even one of the good bits, too. Because Serena's so turned on she feels like her skin is humming with it, and all she wants to do is press herself next to Dan and kiss and kiss and kiss in a way that always feels_ fantastic _, because even when he's tired and blissed out from getting a blowjob, Dan's a good kisser, and it's amazing._

_At least until Blair comes back, and wraps an arm around Serena from behind, kissing the back of her neck and moving down her spine._

_Then, it feels perfect._

 

+++

 

On the one hand, there's still a huge part of Blair that feels like after all of today's humiliation, she should at least be above getting comforted in a hotel room by a guy who owns a Cabbage Patch doll and up until recently had _footballs_ on his _bedsheets_ , even if Serena's there, too. 

On the other, it is a _little_ nice that Dan came over. 

(It seems to make Serena calmer, anyway.)

Not that she needs to be comforted, not by a Humphrey, and _especially_ not by a Humphrey after what Jenny did to her. She's completely fine in Serena's room playing with the TV, trying to find something on after one in the morning that isn't soft-core porn or infomercials. Well. She would be if Serena was there with her, because there's not a lot Blair feels like she can't do when her head is resting on Serena's knees and Serena's playing with her hair, testing increasingly elaborate variations on French braids that always fall out the second Blair sits up.

But. 

If she _did_ need to be comforted - comforted _more_ , because when Serena comes back from answering the door, the first thing she does is sit back down on the bed and give Blair a hug - she wouldn't say that Dan was doing a terrible job. 

Because the first thing he does (after he sees Blair, sees her and Serena and gets that look on his face like he _knows_ something painful and Upper East Side is going on but isn't going to ask until he absolutely has to) is follow Serena onto the bed. "Hey," he says, and he elbows Serena in that sickeningly adorable way they seem to have perfected. "Move over."

And of _course_ she giggles at him and shifts, but Blair sort of can't help laughing herself, when Serena's trying to move while Blair's still half-on top of her. Then they settle, and it's Serena and Dan sitting next to each other, but Dan's got Blair pressed into his chest and Serena's curled up against Blair's back, and Blair _knows_ they've been in this position before, except naked, but somehow right now it's not even sexy. 

Well, it's a little sexy, in the way that lying between two people you're sleeping with, watching a "documentary" on the off-duty lives of strippers is always a _bit_ sexy, even when there's no intention behind it. But mostly it's just, you know, _nice_. 

Comforting.

 

+++

_  
To be honest, Blair doesn't really like to watch._

_She doesn't_ dislike _it, or anything, and she totally gets why it makes Serena so wet she can't sit still and Dan so horny his hands shake - the three of them are fucking_ beautiful _, after all. But Blair's always thought that sitting back and, you know, taking care of herself, was for nights when she_ didn't _have a bed full of people to touch and touch back._

_Possibly that says something deep and a little Freudian about Blair as a person._

_Of course, it_ could _just mean that two mouths are better than one, which isn't Freudian at all, unless he was secretly some kind of repressed Austrian Don Juan or something. Whatever. The point is, that when the three of them are all together there's nothing Blair likes more than Dan going down on her while she and Serena make out. (It's not_ quite _as good as those times when she and Serena are all alone, and Serena leaves wet, lazy kisses like a trail across her hips and down between her thighs and slips her tongue into Blair in a way that's_ just _right, but. Dan's not there for those times.) Because Dan - and possibly it's related to the fact that he almost never stops talking, which knowing his sister has_ got _to be genetic - is surprisingly good with his tongue, good enough that when Blair comes she almost_ always _cries out. And when Blair has Serena to whisper into her ear and kiss her and write dirty French limericks across Blair's breasts with her fingernails while Dan's tongue slides over her clit and then down and_ inside _her, it feels even better._

 _And when Blair comes - which is, let's face it, her_ real _favorite thing to do, so much that it almost doesn't matter what they do to get her there - maybe she does like to watch, a little._

_Just, not for the same reasons Serena and Dan like it._

_Because what Blair likes to watch is the way that Dan moves up, grinning as he wipes his mouth, and pulls Serena away from Blair's rack and into a kiss. She likes to watch the way the two of them get wrapped up in each other, because they're in love and Dan's her_ boyfriend _and they're the most ridiculously adorable couple in history. Because even though they sometimes get distracted, Dan's hand never leaves Blair's hip, and Serena never let's go of Blair's hand._

_Blair loves to watch the ways they're all together._

 

+++

 

Dan and Serena are making eyes at each other over her head. 

Blair can just tell.

Because there's a specific kind of feeling that comes with comfortable silence, with the three of them watching TV and occasionally giggling or wincing as the stripper in the documentary with the crazy tattoos shows off one of her weird piercings. And then there's the _other_ kind of silence, the kind that comes when Dan and Serena are staring at each other, half-holding their breaths because they want to make out so badly it almost _hurts_ , but can't because they might disturb Blair's delicate emotional state.

Although, they _are_ all snuggled together on a bed, watching a TV program that shows bare breasts every forty seconds, so really, it's not like Blair can blame them for wanting to. 

She turns to look up at them just in time to catch Serena's eye while she moves in to kiss Dan, and knowing Blair knows makes her blush and shy away. Serena opens her mouth like she's going to apologize, but that's just - no. Blair doesn't want Serena to apologize for wanting to kiss her boyfriend. Or for wanting to kiss her. So before she can say a word, Blair leans up and slides two fingers along the curve of her jaw and kisses her. 

Then she turns, and kisses Dan. 

To be honest, it really does help. And not in the Chuck Bass, drowning her sorrows in promiscuity way either, because Blair _knows_ how that kind of thing turns out.

It just makes her feel _better_ , is all. Something about Dan kissing her, slow and tentative and searching, makes her feel grounded. And when Serena rolls onto her side to fit closer against Blair, to slip one arm down Blair's hip to wrap around her waist, it calms her down. It feels like something she should have been doing all along.

Blair turns her head away from Dan to kiss Serena one more time, but Serena stops her for a moment to look at her. (To _really_ look at her, and Blair recognizes that expression from all the times Serena's been there to make sure she didn't do something stupid.) "Hey," she says, and giggles when Blair sneaks a kiss anyway. "You don't have to -" Serena takes a breath, tries again. "Is this what you want to be doing right now?"

"Look," Blair says, smiling because she _knows_ it is, knows Serena and Dan know it is but loves them even more for asking anyway. "Everyone already thinks I'm a whore." She leans in, kisses Serena again but _properly_ this time."I might as well deserve it."

And they all laugh, together (well, they sort of laugh, but in a muffled way because Dan's kissing Blair and Serena's got her mouth pressed to Blair's shoulderblade), because the three of them know this isn't like that at all.

It's better.


End file.
